My Basement is Haunted With the Ghosts of My Former Self Until I spent hours in my basement sifting through 17 years of memories, I had never seen the shadows of my past self.

My Basement is Haunted With the Ghosts of My Former Self

Until I spent hours in my basement sifting through 17 years of memories, I had never seen the shadows of my past self.

By Samantha Serum

Grief Book Club

Samantha Serum

Published in

Grief Book Club

The house, in 2007. Photo by the author.

“And life goes on forever like the gnawing of a mouse, — /And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow/There’s this little street and this little house.” ~ “Ashes of Life,” Edna St. Vincent Millay

My basement is full of ghosts, hiding behind every box and bin. As I sit on the steps, they seem to wander past me. First, the ghost of a college co-ed who has just realized the guy she just went on a date with was going to change the trajectory of her life.

Then the ghost of a college student who loved to road trip to a concert appears. The ghost of a small-town newspaperwoman comes out from behind the box of yellowed newspapers. The ghost of a newlywed, giddily in love and full of dreams for the future, drifts from a box of wedding napkins and tiny bottles of bubbles.

From the shelves of paint peeks the ghost of a young wife, daubed with paint, decorating the house above in hand-me-downs and thrift store finds. Flitting about, the ghost of a young mother, uncertain of every single decision because she so desperately wants to get motherhood right.

On the steps I see the ghost of a graduate student, studying in the basement because it’s the only quiet place in a home with a baby and a toddler.

In the corner by the washer and dryer, I glimpse the ghost of a stay-at-home Mom watching her marriage crumble. She comes to the basement to cry and sits on the floor leaning on the dryer, so the duet of the swishing washer and whirring dryer muffle her grief.

Walking in and out, blank-faced, is the eldest ghost. She’s the ghost of a woman approaching middle age. A tired automaton doing laundry, cooking dinner, going to work, soccer practice, play practice and PTO, on a looping, endless schedule– and completely lost to herself.

All of the ghosts are me. I thought I was just cleaning out my basement, but I kept meeting versions of myself that I thought had died.

The Learning Hub 2023

Comments

In the midst of turmoil, I found my unshakeable anchor in God

In the midst of turmoil, I found my unshakeable anchor in God. He was my rock, my fortress, and my savior all at once. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would run to Him for refuge, knowing that He would protect me from harm. His presence was my shield, deflecting the arrows of adversity, and His power was the horn of my salvation, announcing victory over my struggles. In my darkest moments, I would cry out to the Lord, who is worthy of all praise and honor. And every time, He would deliver me from the clutches of my enemies - whether they were physical, emotional, or spiritual. He was my stronghold, my place of safety, and my guiding light in the darkness. Through every trial and tribulation, I learned to trust in God's unwavering love and protection. He was my rock, my foundation, and my salvation - and I knew that with Him by my side, I could face anything that came my way. ~ 𝓙𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮 The Learning Hub 2024

10 Thought Provoking Psychological Hacks

By Elia Juniana 1.Cuteness inspires aggression, which is why we often want to squeeze things we find cute. 2.If you speak & encourage yourself in-front of mirror, you'll be mentally strong. 3.Daydreaming is said to help people focus on what they really want in life. 4.Studies have shown that people who dress well; feel better about themselves & are generally happier. 5.Those who get out of bed by 7 am are likely to be happier and thinner. 6.Depression is the result of over thinking. The mind creates problems that don't even exist. 7.You can't read in a dream, because reading & dreaming are functions of different sides of the brain, which do not co-operate while sleeping. 8.Your mind can sense someone staring at you even when asleep. 9.We only sustain a high level of concentration, for 10 minutes. 10.The colour blue causes the brain to release relaxing hormones.

What's the biggest lesson that life has taught you?

When I was 14, liked a boy a lot because of his character, good behavior and I respect him a lot. He is my senior. While having a conversation with him once he funnily said “ sunaina, if you reduce your weight a bit you will look more gorgeous”. But I took it seriously, without thinking about what is right or wrong I blindly fixed to lose weight for him and I don't know ways to how to lose weight except avoiding food. I can somehow manage eating food when I was outside but what about at home? When my mother cooked chapati, bread, or whatever food for me without knowing to my parents I used to roll and hide that food in paper and while going to school I used to throw it on the roadside dustbin and this continued for 1 month. One day my mother prepare lunch for me and kept it in a box to take to school. I thought if food is present with me I will somehow tempt to eat so what I did while leaving my home I went to my apartment cellar and threw the food in Dustbin, watchmen observed thi...

Princewill Daokorite

Search This Blog